


I'm Not Okay

by malintatherian



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Adult Frisk, Angst, F/M, Female Frisk, Fluff, Romance, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-24 18:20:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6162431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malintatherian/pseuds/malintatherian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frisk comes back from college, and feelings are revealed.</p><p>Song-Fic! (lyrics are interspersed)</p><p>"I'm Not Okay" by Jill Andrews</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Okay

Frisk and Sans had been close friends for years, and only got closer after they left the Underground. Frisk had always been there when Sans had nightmares since his room was down the hall from hers at Toriel’s house.

Frisk invited him out to New Grillby’s once she got back from college for the year. Her first year of college had been rough. She didn’t go very far, but didn’t want to worry anone that she was having a hard time adjusting.

_And how would I ever know_   
_If I never tried_   
_If I never tried_   
_To look_

“Hey Sans!” She waved to him as she approached him at the bar.

“Hey kiddo, welcome home! Sorry I couldn’t come help move you out,” his smile sank down, “I couldn’t get out of work at the lab.”

“I know, it’s all right.” Frisk sat down, and ordered some iced tea.

“How did that date go last month, didn’t you go to a concert with your rommate’s older brother?” Sans asked, a hint of jealously in her voice.  
  
_It's easy to blame yourself_  
 _For wanting something else_  
 _Wanting something else_

Frisk sat quiet for a moment, wishing he hadn’t asked. “It um…didn’t work out well.”

“Not good enough for the hero of monsterkind?” He said, winking.

Grillby brought her a glass of iced tea, and she sat staring at it. “Not…not exactly…” Her chest sank deep into her chest.

Sans became concerned and nudged her, and decided to change the subject. “So…did your classes go okay?”  
  
_Dreams start to fade away_  
 _Become another day_  
 _And then another day goes by_

“Yeah! I made the Dean’s list, which is really good. It was a lot of work…I…that concert was the only event I really went to all semester.”

“Woah, really? No crazy parties or anything?”

_Can't seem to watch it past_   
_Was never good at that_   
_Never good at that_   
_Was I?_

“No…I went to one before the end of the Fall semester, but it wasn’t really my thing.” She took a sip of tea, and rested her head on her hand, with her elbow propping it up. “I didn’t know anyone besides my roommate, and she ditched me after two drinks, and her brother walked me back to our dorm.”

“Oh…” Sans said, completely neutral.

She looked at Sans longingly, “I wish you were there, it probably would’ve been fun then.” Frisk wished he had been there with her through everything that happened…but she didn’t want to admit how miserable she had been.  
  
_And I'm not okay_  
 _With just leaving_  
 _Or holding back my words until I_  
 _Need them_

“I wish I came home more, to be honest. Would’ve been nice to see you all more.” Frisk said, sitting back up.

Sans’s face started getting more and more concerned, “We missed you a bunch, too, kid. It got pretty _bone_ ly without you here.” He paused, his cheeks blushing cyan. “I…missed you a bunch, too.”

Frisk blushed, “R-really?” Her heart was pounding but her head…her head filled up with pressure as thoughts raced through her. Could she tell him how much she missed him too?

  
_I am not okay_  
 _With just leaving_  
 _Cause I love you too much_

“Frisk…can I ask you something?” Sans locked eyes with her.

Frisk’s cheeks turned a deep red, she couldn’t do it. Her frustration and anxiety became too much to handle; she had to get away. “I…I gotta go…” Frisk said.

“What? We haven’t even eaten yet…what’s wrong?” She grabbed her coat and left, panicking; she wanted to stay but she felt sick to her stomach thinking about all the things she wanted to say.. “No, Frisk…wait!” He got up and started to follow her, but she was already out the door.  
  
_I thought I was above_  
 _I guess I really wasn't_  
 _I guess I really wasn't_

He caught up with her and put his hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it away. Sans furrowed his browbones, and grabbed one of her hands and spun her around. Frisk, caught off guard, fell straight into his arms. “What happened?” he asked softly.

_A kiss is meant to fade_   
_And feelings go away_   
_And feelings go away_

 “I didn’t like it Sans! I hated going on that date with him.” The walls she had built inside started crumbling fast. Tears started forming in the corners of her eyes; her voiced starting to crack. “He was skeevy, and I drank too much, and I **wasted** my first kiss on an asshole who left me alone at a stranger’s party when I didn’t want to have sex and-” She shut her eyes tightly, letting the streams of tears start to flow down her cheeks, and she sobbed loudly into his jacket.

He stood, stunned. Sans had a feeling something was bothering her, but he had never seen Frisk anything but her usual cheerful self. He wasn’t good with this sort a thing, especially since he was usually the one sobbing with Papyrus when he had nightmares. He put his hands around her shoulders, holding her in close, making a soothing _sssshhhhhhh_ sound. “Let’s go back to mine and Paps’s place…”  
  
_But I'm not okay_  
 _With just leaving_  
 _Or holding back my words until I_  
 _Need them_

Sans wrapped a blanket around Frisk, who sat with an empty look on her face on their couch. He sighed; there was something else bothering her. He turned the dial up on the stove to heat up the burner under the kettle to make tea. He didn’t want to tell Frisk how much he liked her in case it made her change her mind about going to college. Toriel made it clear how important it was for her to go and make a life for herself…but he wanted to be selfish and tell her everything. He wanted to tell Frisk how deeply he cared for her…how much he worried that something would happen to her and he couldn’t protect her.

The kettle whistled, which shook him from his thoughts, and he poured the tea into two mugs. He carefully blew the steam emanating from the tea, and carried them out carefully to the living room. Frisk was curled up on the couch, her face buried deep into her knees; her arms wrapped around her legs to keep them up. When she heard the mugs tap down onto the coffee table, she dropped her legs back down to reveal her exhausted, splotchy face.

_I am not okay_   
_With just leaving_   
_Cause I love you too much_

 They sat in silence, sipping their tea, until Sans took a deep breath. “So… I was gonna say earlier…” he paused to gauge her reaction. Frisk set her mug down, and looked at him nervously.

“I’m sorry, I know you were gonna say something back there…I…is everything all right?” She filled with deep concern for her dear friend, starting to grasp how long it had been since she had been there for him to vent his feelings to.

  
  
_I'm not okay_  
 _With just leaving_  
 _Or holding back my words until I_  
 _Need them_

Sans shrugged in defeat, “I know I’m not the greatest friend persay, but there is something between us that hasn’t been acknowledged…and I just… well kid… I love you too much to see you so be so sad. It’s not you…it’s just…it’s not okay.” He held her shoulders firmly, but protectively. “You mean a lot to me kid, and…” he let out a sigh, and then pulled her in for a kiss. At first, she was stiff from the surprise. But as seconds passed, her body softened, focusing every thought on that kiss. It was warm, and they were both shaking with joy. 

  
_I am not okay_  
 _With just leaving_  
 _Cause I love you too much_

It seemed like nearly an hour before their faces drifted apart, and their eyes slowly blinked open. Sans leaned his forehead up against hers, and took a corner of the blanket into her hand to wipe her cheeks, which were still damp from crying.

“It hurts to see you so heartbroken over all this, and that I wasn’t there when it happened to be there for you. It isn’t fair after all you have done for me.” Sans felt defeated, there was little he knew he could really do at this point to make her get over it. He shrugged, “that sounds so selfish, though. There is so much a can tell you, so much of my heart I have been holding inside.” One hand lifted up to caress the corner of the cheek.

“Knowing you’d be there for me, even not immediately, is all that kept me going to finish the semester without crashing. So many sleepless nights I wish I could sneak into your room for once and confess all the fears I had.” She nestled her head on his shoulder, “You make me feel like I can be happy without being guilt that I am putting myself first.”

“I promise…you will always come first.”  
  
_And how would I ever know_  
 _If I never tried_  
 _If I never tried?_


End file.
